What We Say

We've all been told that once you say something you can't take it back. It's a hard lesson to learn, but we've all been there. As a senior in high school I told a friend who had decided to sleep with her boyfriend that it made her a lessor friend-- idiot! In college I once told Michael all the things I wish he would do differently, but at least I drew it on a little heart piece of paper-- nice move! As a kid someone made me fall off a set of bleachers and I broke my wrist, but I lied and told my parents I tripped and fell-- there goes their trust.
Our words and what we say and how we say it is such a delicate balance. When to speak up and when to suck it up and keep it to ourselves is a question we will ask ourselves all our life. I am always amazed by the power of our words-- how fast we can raise someone up and how quickly we can bring someone down.
Recently, I have been a recipient of words someone may wish to take back. I've also been the lucky recipient of words that have warmed my heart. My husband has learned the frustration of waiting too long to say something because he just couldn't come up with the right words and then the time passed and it's too late.

I went to an all girls, Catholic high school. I have been involved in more female drama than I care to remember. I think I've actully blocked some of it out. I recently had someone who I thought was a friend use words towards me that nearly knocked my socks off. I was so proud of myself- I stood my ground and held firm and kept it clean! She has never apologized to me and I often think of how in just a few words she did so much damage.

I am a Realtor and I recently had someone who is a mentor to me take blow to her career. She has always had warm words and much wisdon for me and I have tried my hardest to impart the same kindness to her these past couple of months. How easy it is to use our honest, heartfelt words to lift somone who needs it so much. Why don't we do it more often?

So why do we wait? We don't know what to say, we can't find the right words? I bought a card for someone we knew who was very sick. I pestered my husband to write in the card so I could mail it. He drug his feet because he just couldn't come up with the "right" thing. I don't think there are words that are perfect, but it's just that you thought of them. Why not the simple truth-- I'm thinking of you, I'm praying for you, You touched me in my life, You made a difference? Mental note-- don't hold back next time!

I offended a dear friend and had no idea. She kindly told me recently and while I don't think I would say anything different I feel blessed that we were able to open our lines of communication. I hope that after we spoke we learned that sometimes what someone says and what we hear are 2 totally different things.

As women, we LOVE to talk. I could talk all day and night. The older I get the more I want to listen. I want to ask the questions and then listen. The ones I love the most are the ones I long to learn inside and out. I can listen and learn and appreciate who they are and how they became the ones I love.