Straight Forward

How much do you tell someone who is about to become a Mother? How much do they need to know? When I was pregnant I read a good bit and thought I had a pretty good handle on what was about to happen. As all of you know, no book or website can prepare you. Can anything really prepare you?

I love being a Mom. It wasn't always that way and I'm OK to admit that. I can remember laying in the hospital bed after my son was born. He wouldn't latch on and it seemed that he was crying SO much. They took him to the nursery to give us some rest. I would lay in the bed and hear a nurse coming down the hall, pushing a cart and I would secretly think, "Please don't be mine, please don't be mine!" I felt overwhelmed and exhasted and unprepared. My anxiety the day we were leaving the hospital was almost crippling. Despite being exhausted I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking, "What am I going to do with him when I get him home?"

My first night home was a Saturday. That Sunday morning I awoke with only a few hours of sleep under my belt. A dear childhood friend who already had 2 littles one called and said, "Happy Mother's Day!" I broke down in tears and responded, "this is horrible." I thought, what in the world did I do? I have no idea what I am doing? My world seemed so small and so confusing and so overwhelming.

It took me almost a year to accept Motherhood. I will do another entry on that, but I had an identity meltdown-- quietly-- so I thought.

So, I have a friend who is about to have her first child on her own. She is one of the reasons I really decided to write. We have had a number of conversations about motherhood. All of them completely straightforward. Mostly humorous to lighten her mood.

I reached out to her earlier this week as she started her last week before Motherhood. She thanked me for my honesty and recounted several stories I had told her. I had forgotten about some of them. I was tickled that they had stuck with her. I shared raw moments with her that sometimes we are too afraid to reveal.

My baby girl is 10 months old. Four years later and 2 babies later I can laugh at my 1st Mother's Day meltdown, my need for a formula making tutorial (despite the written instructions on the can) and frantic call to a friend with my first infant suppository experience. Don't we all need to know that someone else struggled the same way? No matter how old we are- doesn't it give you comfort that you're not alone?

I often listen with attentive ears when someone speaks about their teenagers angst or toddlers potty training issues. I often think,"So glad I'm passed that" or "Oh crap, I'm going to have to deal with that". Either way, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one.

You know you're dying to ask-- what do you mean formula-making tutorial. The same friend who called with her Mother's Day message was blessed with my frantic phone call. I was at the end of my breast feeding rope. I had enough! I decided to go with the formula. The problem was that I was so rattled I thought a phone call would be easier than reading the instructions. I frantically called and said, "How do I make formula?" Of course her response was, "Did you read the back of the can?" Again, we're going on minimal sleep here-- just give me the damn details! She did and my child ate-- what else can I say?