Title

I drug my feet for quite a while getting this blog started and part of it was coming up with a name. I toyed with a couple of ideas, but one day I was having a conversation with my my best friend and the two words Graceful and Chaotic seemed to stand out in our conversation about life & parenting.

The more I thought about it the more I felt connected to them and the more they seemed to speak to me. I feel like I am still on my journey to figure out who I am. I'm not sure if I will ever really know for sure. That's OK with me. I believe that my life is a journey and each stage, phase and adventure changes me, improves me and challenges me.

From the moment I knew I was pregnant parenthood became a huge part of my journey. And with parenthood comes chaos. It's not that I can't keep things straight, it's that there's so much to keep straight.

Let me just think for a second to what runs through my mind, esp. on a Monday morning:

Can I shower before the baby wakes up? If she wakes up fussing will she wake her brother?

If I hurry and shower, maybe I can get makeup on before they wake?

Did I remember to buy more waffles and those stinking animal plates he likes? Shoot, maybe he'll want one of my Weight Watcher's muffins. That's fine beause it's faster, but they leave a millions crumbs. The time I spend sweeping takes up the time I saved.

Did I remember to wash my face in the shower? Too late, I hear her crying.

Did he brush his teeth before we came down for breakfast? If I hurry and run up I can grab my blow dryer and curling iron before they notice. That way I can finish getting ready downstairs.

I know I shouldn't give them this much TV in the morning, but at least I can get everything done.

Did the bottles get made last night? Are they dated? I can't forget to write the tuition check.

Do they both have a change of clothes in their bag? Does she have enough baby food in her bag?

Crap, we didn't talk about what's for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll stop at the store on the way home.

Please don't spit up on me now that I'm dressed! My wardrobe is still minimal since I had you!

Are you kidding me, I just changed you, how can you have another dirty diaper!

Thank goodness we bought the shoes with velcro so I am relieved of that duty. I hope that we don't slow his learning how to tie his shoes by doing that-- who cares, the darn things are on and velcroed!

Almost time to go. Let me grab my bag and purse and the baby and make my first trip to the car. If I don't take her she'll be crying by the front door.

I can't leave her crying at the front door. The new neighbor across the street will think I'm a horrible mother. I need to go introduce myself and come up with some sort of charming excuse for being a grumpy, cranky person in the morning.

On to the second trip- school bags, tuition check in the side (don't forget to put it in the box at school) and baby.

Shoot, I forgot to grab my frozen lunch. Come on buddy, turn off the TV and get in the car (repeated 3x with my voice escalating each time). You see why my neighbor may think I'm nuts.

Alright bud, jump in and put on your straps (3x). Let's see how long it takes you--1, 2, 3.....

Do you see what I mean? Just a bit of chaos.

This only gets me into the car! I usually forget to put the check in the box, but they know by now where to find it in the bag.

Now on to work! Seriously?

So then there comes in the Graceful part. I try to pull it together and seem calm, rational and put together. There's no need for the world to know that I just barely got out of the house, it's only 8:30am and I feel like it should be noon!

I've babbled on too much to elaborate this time, but I'll touch on the gracefulness another time.